We all judge ourselves too harshly. We look in the mirror and see the small wrinkles at the corners of our eyes. We see the freckles and the too narrow chin. And we see the tilt to the eyes inherited from some unknown relative.
What do you see when you look at your best friend? Do you see her upturned nose or her long ear lobes? Do you see her too slender legs like she does? Most likely you don’t see these things in her. She does. She sees these flaws in herself just like you see the flaws in yourself.
Maybe you’re 6’2” and wish you were shorter. Have you ever stopped to think that a girl who’s 5’0” wishes she wasn’t so short? And you’re friend who you envy a bit because she’s so slender, probably wishes she could gain ten pounds and not look like stick girl any more.
When you look at the love of your life, what do you see? Look closely; take in his hair color, his eye color, the angle of his chin and even the shape of his toes. Memorize everything you can about this person you love. When you’ve memorized everything you can about his physical appearance, close your eyes.
Now, imagine you had never seen him. You’ve met him… you know him and you love him. But you have never seen him. You have imagined what he looks like but because you can’t see him, you can’t form an opinion of his physical appearance.
Now think about why you love this person. Is he kind and gentle? Maybe he’s funny and makes you laugh. Does he hold you when you need to be held? Does he cry with you? Does he do things for others before taking care of himself? Why do you love him?
Now think about a very dear friend. Is this person your friend because they are attractive? Probably not, that would make no sense. Your friend is your friend because they are a good person. They make you laugh. They hold your hand when you’re sad. They’re by your side no matter what.
Is this how you ‘see’ the people you love? Do you see them for ‘who they are’? Do you see their kindness and sense of humor? Maybe their unselfish ways and forgiving nature.
Now look at yourself. What do you see? Do you see the gray hair you don’t like? Or a mole on your cheek? Maybe you see the weight you’ve gained since reaching a certain age.
Do you see the beauty in yourself like you do in others? If you don’t, then why don’t you? What if someone asked the love of your life what beauty they see in you? What if they asked your close friends? What would they say?
Do you think those people who love you will say “She’s gained weight in the past few years.”? Would they say “She has too many wrinkles, I can’t love her anymore?” No way! They love you for who you are, just the same way you love them.
So, go stand in front of a mirror and take a good look. Then close your eyes and look again. Think of the good qualities you see in the people you love and ask yourself “Do I have that quality?” Be honest with yourself. You might be surprised at the answer.
I’ve often said, “You have to like what you see when you close your eyes.” So give it a shot, you’re more beautiful than you think.